we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
