my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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