his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
