just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
