why didn't you poke me back
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
