I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
