He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
