Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
