But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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