i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
