Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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