I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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