i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
