I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
