becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
