I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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