from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
