you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
