I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Terrible idea I love it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
