I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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