Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
