If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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