Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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