am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The power of my boobs compel you
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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