he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
