a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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