Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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