He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Less talking, more tequila
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
