STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
