Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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