You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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