yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize