Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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