am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
