If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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