hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
