i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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