Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
