I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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