I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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