don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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