i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
