I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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