**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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