She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just high enough for therapy.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
