I just made out with a guy for $7.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
