From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
