sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
