i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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