I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
