That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
