Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
