i can't believe i had my finger in that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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