YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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