If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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