When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
