you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
