carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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