I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
