so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The uberlube is also flammable
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
