I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
