everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
