Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
