I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
