Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
