he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
