cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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